Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

hey world ,
yer so why do people do it?
why dothey hurt us ?
without a reason ?
whats wrong withthis world; those 2 boys who beat upthat little boy because they simply 'had nothing to do' and only stopped throwing the sinnk at him because their 'arms hurt' what sick bastards raised them to do that huh ? their just as sick for doing it and THEY only got five yrs WHAT THE FUCK!
I MEAN HELLO if someone did that to my brother i would kill the little fuckers and not care less . the less of those people the better.

chavs are just as bad getting allarse holih coz they can

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

You took my shinning star

to my girls- you know who you are :D

hmmmmmmmm how to start ..... you guys know of course know my mother doesnt love me fullstop. my mothers treatment of me is known as neglect a type of abuse (not that it felt like that)
i cant remember much of my child hood very little infact its hard to explain but just imagine a large black hole thats my memories of jennie . i remember bits though i will tell you about them

first and most rememebered memory:
i was 3 i think. Jennie had slapped me fairly hard on my right cheek i was petrified i was hiding in the corner of the kitchen by the cupboard. crying alot. Jennie came shuffling in, sobbing, she was begging me to forgive of course i did but now as i look it reminds me of what a woman beater does when he hits his wife he begs and pleads with her for forgivness but the monster inside is waiting to stir again ....

jennie had a fair few boyfriends married and not, one i remember the most is Alan er he looks like nashon and dan murithi mixed. i met at a club with my ;i didnt like him straight away, he tried with me dont get me wrong. but kids just notice bad people straight away out of instict. after that i never saw him.

7 years old now, i went home after seeing my dad for the weekend. i walked up
up the path to flats as normal and pressed the buzzer once...twice...three times .... i guess you know she wasnt in but it hurt alot it was the first time i realised i wasnt loved- by her at least.
i was also locked in the cupboard but i dont remember that.

aydin was born just after i turned 8 he weighed 6 pounds 14oz precisely. i was a mother the first time i held him i definately loved him ore then jennie any way i still do it hurts every time i think of him and i worry alot about him.

it cut deep when i left him behind because i promised i wouldn't i hate breaking promises
anyhoo thats it
peace out

Monday, 25 January 2010

i stole it back !!!

yes the missing duck; i took back ruth coz - er well its MINE !

so depressed people are every where why !? you were given life to to - live i guess ! we all have our problems i do i hate myself beyond any thing i cant explain why though but i have made mistakes thats all leaving people i love behind not caring when i should but thats just me i have accepted it now even the bits i hate but we can change and move forward i used to be selfless now i'm selfish anyhoo
peace out

misery business

hye guess whos back charlie's back tell a friend!
yer so in ict bored quite a bit!
i feel soo erm well not alive ok i'm going peoples read while i write
peace out

let the flames begin

hey world of bloggers,
hows you?
i am diabetes free !!!!!!!!!! i knew that anyways ! so yesterday i went to a deserted grave yard it freaked me ut i could feel someone watching me, i still can at times-mostly in my room !!! weird! so i finally found out what was wrong with 'cough cough' and just to say if he was a woman well lets just pain would be the only remedy! so beef world beef !!! er so life is coolio my dad is still drinking loads i know it hurts ya know coz affects us all; life is precious never forget that ! even murderers deserve one i guess xx
i feel depressed about life actually i
wanna know
why we are here?whats my purpose?and
i keep
coming up blank i have no reason i just live and thats it ! i used to think it was
for love
now i'm not sure maybe its to love life i guess i will find out hey ?

peace out love you all
p.s. the title is totally unrelated

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

hey my patients

i am now offically a penis checker outta ! Yer weird but men dont have gynercolgist?

so my patients dont forget to touch look check ! Or i will do it ?! Xx
Peace out xxx

Friday, 15 January 2010


i had my blood test today i have silch chance of having diabetes but i have come to the conculsion that nurses are vampires lol jokes ! i watched the second time and my blood is really dark apparently thats good?
anyhoo i havent been up to much lately so er blog soon
peace out

Tuesday, 12 January 2010


well i havent be on here in ages !
not that anyone cares lol
so me and wife argued againb today serial cheater she is !
but we made up
me and claire are tres good at acting married and arguing !
i love my life !
i keep forgeting that i am having a blood test on friday but then someone reminds me i am sooooooooooooooooooooooooo worried i dont think i could handle having diabetes !!!!!!!!!!!!!
so on face book an old pic of my yr 6 class was posted on it and they wanna meet up with everyone ? i am not included in this i guess i wasnt liked by most of my class so ya know i kinda dont wanna go they will just take the piss ! its fine i wont be allowed any way but i have to you know remember the shit
any hoo
peace out