Thursday, 28 March 2013

" somehow everything's going to fall right into place"

hey world,
 so today's discussion : being normal.

That's all i want to be. i want to fall in love with a normal guy and have a normal relationship  in a normal life. I'm just not normal in fact i can't be normal it's a shame it really is. Maybe my prince charming is just round the corner, lets face it i have never gone for normal guys i have always gone for those that have problems and are difficult because then i don't deal with my difficulties, my issues. i don't have to trust them with my heart either i can keep it locked away because they don't need it right? i don't need it either. i just need my brain, my logic that takes the magic out of it because that's what love is about magic, all those fairytales have it right, not the dashing smokin' hot princes part(although if there is any out there, i'm available)   but the bit about love being a uncontrollable  brutal and somewhat magical force that can make your life better and tear it apart within seconds.

for the first time in my life i like a seemingly normal guy ( he could be psycho who knows?)  but maybe its not  the the guy what if its the idea of him? the idea of normality. It goes back to the most basic human instinct selfishness  should i be selfish admittedly its something i don't do very often, should i be selfish and bask in the fact i like someone who's normal? throw a party  shout it from the rooftops? it's not because i'm in love far from i will always find that hard i always fight that feeling with force. Rather because i have done something normal for once i have achieved some normality. This talking to my family, the people i do love thing is actually working i have a long way to go but i'm one step closer (to heeeeaaavvveeen baby- s -club jrs google it) here's to hoping... one sec so long soldier is playing actually dislike  this song so much.... changed it. Lts celebrate my first ever act of normality !!!

going to Camden town tomorrow starting my make over, can't decide on blonde or more ginger .....

anyhoo i'm out motherfucka's

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

'there's a side to me you have not seen before'

So I'm turning over a new leaf, facing my problems head on rather then burying them,it's proving hard who knew I had so many issues to deal with ? there's a lot. At least I'm trying now. I guess it's because I would like to date at some point. I can't do that with so many problems relating to relationships it would be disastrous. So first problem on my list : grieving, properly not worrying about everyone else just dealing with my own. So far so good. It's like being on a roller coaster to be honest, I'm grieving for a whole group of people,an old life and a tiny piece of my soul but it's not a gaping hole anymore I'm stitching it up slowly. So phase one is almost complete.

The next step is abandonment issues, I
May need help with this one I'm not sure how to sort it on my own. I suppose finding what caused the issue first then working from there ?

I am officially a trainee nurse now. It weird when I first started this blog nursing wasn't even considered to be in my future, it's strange how life can change.

Watch out world I'm spreading my wings,

Monday, 14 May 2012

'well you can tell by the way that i use my walk i'm a woman's no time to talk'

hey there sexy people,

how are ya'll feeling today ?
just realised i used ya'll in my blog ...... sucks. I need to balance it out with britishness ... i'm feeling splendid my dear old chaps. Much better me thinks. So i'm watching glee with Jinny, it's really good this episode. I love glee it's all sing song-ish..... lottie our cover teacher called me lottie. I think you will find it's charlie not Lottie. Charlotte as whole is a BIG no no so why would i like lottie .... only my nanna can call me that because she's my nanna. I have almost finished watching the secret circle season one. I love that show sex, witchcraft, hot guys.... it's the bomb. Also watched water for elephants yesterday. i'm not rushing out to buy it to be honest. It's good but not brilliant. It was nice to see Robert Pattinson in a different role than Edward Cullen. Just saw Darren Criss in a leather jacket ...... i have no words.meep.

anyhoo see you all around ...sort of.


Wednesday, 25 April 2012

'here's my number so call me maybe'

hey there people,
my college class have decided that there should be such a thing as condom bins in pub/club toilets


Monday, 16 April 2012

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Wednesday, 1 February 2012

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Reckless -ymas

i've been trying to make sense

I've been shouting under my breath

How's in he opposite my interest

You sold me out, I must have not got the cheque

Your lust is a lie, but it comes as no surprise

Time after time, it goes right past the line

I do my best to, to make ammends with you

But I just can't see the end oh

Don't hold your breath, imma not losing sleep over you

I'm Mr Reckless with a capital R


Don't hold your breath, imma not losing sleep over you

I'm Mr Reckless with a capital R

Don't hold your breath, imma not losing sleep over you

I'm Mr Reckless, and you're defenceless

And isn't it funny how

Those black clouds follow you around?

It's Karma smiling down

Just let me know when it's in town

You act like the world owes you a favour

You want it all but you don't like the taste, oh

You've been throwing bricks at my window

Like there's no better way to say 'hello'



[ From: ]

The best, you never had x4

I'm the devil on your shoulder

I'm the concious in your mind

I'm the feeling that you, you cannot hide

I'm the devil on your shoulder

Doesn't mean that love is blind

It's ok when it's Satan in disguise

Your loose lips let, let the words slide

You spend too much time thinking about my life

Stories you will spin, just for power trip

It's safe to say that I am not into it

In the picture you are not

Someone is in your spot

This is the result of people on moving on

Good luck with killing time

You won't be killing mine

I'll do my best

To always be on your mind

Your mind

I never once said I didn't mean this

I can't wait to see how this one pans out

You are the first to question my achievements

But that's all right, my dreams are living

Don't hold your breath, imma not losing sleep over you

I'm Mr Reckless with a capital R


The best, you never had x4