so today's discussion : being normal.
That's all i want to be. i want to fall in love with a normal guy and have a normal relationship in a normal life. I'm just not normal in fact i can't be normal it's a shame it really is. Maybe my prince charming is just round the corner, lets face it i have never gone for normal guys i have always gone for those that have problems and are difficult because then i don't deal with my difficulties, my issues. i don't have to trust them with my heart either i can keep it locked away because they don't need it right? i don't need it either. i just need my brain, my logic that takes the magic out of it because that's what love is about magic, all those fairytales have it right, not the dashing smokin' hot princes part(although if there is any out there, i'm available) but the bit about love being a uncontrollable brutal and somewhat magical force that can make your life better and tear it apart within seconds.
for the first time in my life i like a seemingly normal guy ( he could be psycho who knows?) but maybe its not the the guy what if its the idea of him? the idea of normality. It goes back to the most basic human instinct selfishness should i be selfish admittedly its something i don't do very often, should i be selfish and bask in the fact i like someone who's normal? throw a party shout it from the rooftops? it's not because i'm in love far from i will always find that hard i always fight that feeling with force. Rather because i have done something normal for once i have achieved some normality. This talking to my family, the people i do love thing is actually working i have a long way to go but i'm one step closer (to heeeeaaavvveeen baby- s -club jrs google it) here's to hoping... one sec so long soldier is playing actually dislike this song so much.... changed it. Lts celebrate my first ever act of normality !!!
going to Camden town tomorrow starting my make over, can't decide on blonde or more ginger .....
anyhoo i'm out motherfucka's